District 9

Since my mom just interrupted my chain of thought, this post is gonna suck. Be prepared. Anyway, you should read on since you have clicked the link that got you here.

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District 9 - a well thought name and a brilliant 'gust of fresh air' alien concept. As "Maggi Tomato Ketchup" would have put it, "Its different". We've been through hoards of alien movies, especially the sci-fi fans who just couldn't resist, no matter how crappy the ratings and boy have they been crappy.

Your random, average alien flick would involve:
a) Something goes wrong in space / alien crash lands on Earth
b) Usually too damn futuristic to be real (well, it is science-fiction, duh!)
c) Either we (read: the military) invade or they invade
d) Hot steamy kissing scene
e) Good guys win, bad guys get toasted thanks to the ultimate 'super-awesome' plan (which causes a sidekick to kick the bucket) or a last minute weakness revealed.

None of that here. Nope, this is one of those "no non-sense" alien movies that will make you go "Niiicee" as you walk out.
Districy 9, manages to kick in the "it could kinda happen to you" concept so smoothly that you realize it only when its over.

Although the movie could have used a better storyline, it isn't a disappointment by a long shot. Even though it tends to get predictable and sometimes goes into "plain good luck" mode, it does have its edge of the seat moments and my favorite "OMG! This is it" moments that put a smile upon your face, in the midst of all the blasting and blowing up and burning down action.

The soundtracks, unfortunately, haven't been chosen too well, which make them a little too obvious at times and that tends to ruin the magic of the moment.

Another drawback is that they have tried to make it too realistic, over abusing the F word that made it (read: F word) eventually lose its charm in the script.

A theater experience doesn't really change anything, so you might wanna wait until the DVDs are out.

Rating: 9.3/10
Neill Blomkamp, you're gonna go far, kid.

"Forget"ting Sarah Marshall

One bright sunny morning, Nicholas Stoller (co-writer of the famous Hollywood comedy ‘Fun with Dick and Jane’) woke up and thought to himself, ‘Why don’t I do something stupid today?’. Thus, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” exists.

Composer Peter Bretter’s (Jason Segel) television star girlfriend, Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell) walks in and ends their FIVE YEAR LONG relationship, leaving Jason to fall flat on his face.

Later, he flies off to Miami and checks into the same goddamn hotel as Sarah and her ‘current boyfriend’, singer Alduos Snow (Russell Brand). What follows are a number of odd awkward meetings between the exes, a receptionist who is more than willing to help a complete stranger for the lamest reason a person can think of in under 15 seconds, absurd random characters whose purpose in the movie is as big a mystery as the movie’s existence.

Hawaii is beautiful. Hawaii is exotic. Hawaii is one of the few things that makes “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” work; that and the hot receptionist, Rachel Jansen (Mila Kunis).

The entire movie revolves around the concept of predictability. They’ve taken predictability to a new level, and made it boring predictability. Its like 'guess which direction the sun is gonna rise from?'. The story lacks perfection or sudden twists, or any twists. There isn’t single scene that makes you go, “Oh! I’m not gonna forget that for a long time”, except for the uncalled for nudity and the passionless sex scenes. Boys, boys, don’t get excited about the nudity; it wasn’t Kristen bell, it was Jason Segel. I am yet to recover from the shock.

What made IMDB give it a 7.6 star rating? It might have been Mila Kunis’ picture on the wall of the men’s loo, or the fact that Kristen Bell walked around looking sexy and dumb. Sarcasm aside, part of the credit definitely goes to Jonah Hill, who plays a waiter, Matthew. His very presence makes “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” worth a watch. It’s a pity that his role was limited to just a handful of scenes. Russell Brand isn’t even mention worthy. His acting skills are as laid back as his character.

Certain scenes in the movie redefine emptiness. The soundtracks are as good as non-existent. The main soundtrack in the movie, that is supposed to give it its ultimate oomph, is a badly sung Dracula nursery rhyme. “Inside you” was ok-ish.

Conclusion:
If you enjoy watching men flash their private parts, cry like babies at every available opportunity and get carried away by stupidity, men practice sex with over-sized chess pieces, this is a must watch!

Rating:
3.6/10
(I just added the .6 because IMDB did it, I was gonna stop at 3, I swear!)

Juno

I'm the kinda person who hates country music. I find it lame and noisy (no offense to country music fans), its just not my kind. Atleast it wasn't, until I watched Juno.

I was having a hard time categorizing Juno. It fits into so many categories, fun filled, semi-sarcastic, emotional, comedy - that list can stretch along an 8 mile road and back. That's when I realized that Juno wasn't a movie, it was an experience. The movie doesn't need to take you through the years of her past, and yet it gives you the most vivid description of her mindset, the way the world works around her, and how her actions influence others in small and 'not-so-small' ways.

Juno is a 16 year old school going kid. She is witty, blunt, sweet and simple. The portrayal of Juno as a character, couldn't have been more perfect. Like any other teenager, she has confusing emotions, which surface in the face of different situatioins. Like every other teenager, she thinks she knows exactly what to do, and assumes that everything she is doing is right, yet her steps falter when she comes face to face with one of the biggest blunders of her life, yet.

In the corners of the story, we find instances of family love and generation gaps, people in conflict with themselves, friendship and love, and relationships that we find impossible to explain many a time, yet, they exist.

The story is complemented with wonderfully placed soundtracks. I couldn't imagine a better selection of soundtracks for this movie, and they are all perfectly placed.

Soundtracks you shouldn't miss:
Superstar (Sonic Youth)
Loose Lips (Kimya Dawson)
Expectation (Belle & Sebastain)

The actors carry out their roles brilliantly. There isn't a single section or line of this movie, that I can critisize. This is a MUST WATCH. I will not leak out a single line of the plot, because its just too good too ruin.

Ellen Page (Juno) is placed opposite Micheal Cera from Superbad. He definitely has the best legs I've ever seen. They make the weirdest, yet cutest teenage couple I have ever seen. You wouldn't wanna miss Jennifer Garner either, perfect display of emotions onscreen.

Rating:
9.8/10

Ironman

I could scream from the top of my terrace and tell the world to PLEASE WATCH THIS MOVIE BEFORE YOU DIE, but I won't since its raining. Directed by Jon Favreau, this movie just blows your mind away.

Its a perfect no non-sense movie. The dialogue delivery is a little dull in certain parts of the film. The dialogues really don't do anything to help. They are plain Jane conversations you'd expect in any sci-fi action movie and are slightly emotionless at times. The expressions however, are as genuine as they come.

Oh yes, if I could I would fly down to where ever the make up artist (who did the terrorists' make up) lives and barbaque him for the rest of eternity, I would. The terrorists had such flawless skin, it looked like they'd all been given perfect fruit facials before the shoot, let alone subjected to days of desert heat and sandstorms and war.

The special effects - ah! now we're talking. They're simply mind blowing. Not once have they given the audience a chance to realize that there is something 'unreal' about any scene what-so-ever! From flights to robotic body movements to "fighter jet" chase scenes, everything is done to perfection. If you manage to get your hands on a DVD, trust me, you'll be in special effects paradise.

The end was a little disappointing, unpredictable but disappointing (no I won't reveal it to you here). Gwyneth Paltrow was far too skinny but had the perfect assistant look. Robert Downey Jr. was splendid, where the dialogues failed, his acting paid off BIG TIME.

If I were IMDB, I'd gladly give Ironman a 9/10 (they only gave it an 8.2/10), but its a must watch.

Definitely the best movie of 2008 (yet)...

The Empty Box of "Blood & Chocolate"

Blood & Chocolate (the relevance of the film's name to the plot, remains a mystery) could pass off as the work of some amateur director (unfortunately) teamed up with a 'zero' acting skills cast or maybe everyone was just going through a non-creative phase during the entire filming of the film. I have been much more satisfied after sitting through sloppy B grade Bollywood flicks, mainly because I didn't expect anything better from them.

The story is simple, too simple infact. There are no sudden thrills or twists or turns. The only way the movie could be more 'dead' than it already is, would be if a dead person were to narrate the script to us.

Vivian (Agnes Bruckner) is a werewolf, whose parents were murdered by hunters in America when she was a little girl. Ever since, she has lived with her Aunt Astrid and 'trouble maker' cousin Rafe (Bryan Dick) in Romania. The pack leader of the loup-garou - Gabriel (Oliver Martinez), must pick a new 'bride' for himself every seven years. His previous bride is Astrid, but now he has his eyes set on Vivian. Vivian, however, falls in love with a young cartoonist Aiden (Hugh Dancy), who has had a bad past himself. As time passes by, Vivian's secrets begin to get revealed to Aiden through a series of accidents, one being a fight between Aiden and Rafe, which results in Rafe's death. Vivian must now choose between love and her pack.

Agnes and Hugh share no on screen chemistry whatsoever. Facial expressions and emotional display easily slide into negative counts. Oliver is pretty convincing in the first half, but he gets sloppy by the time the film ends. Each actor drags on his own stereotype character with stereotype actions and reactions to a stereotype script with stereotype dialogues.

The transformations from man to wolf are fairytale-ish (in a dull way). There is no passion or hate seen in the eyes of a mother who has just lost her son, even when his killer stands before her. The pack leader is supposed to have a bruised ego, but puts on a calm cool (annoying constant) exterior, making a convincing mafia leader instead. Rafe's friends show no spirit of vengeance for their friend's death. Overall, there is nothing "raw, rough & animalistic" about the film, besides the real wolves, that is..

The beginning is the sweetest part of the movie. The last line is satisfactory.
The entire experience leaves you wondering whether you saw a movie, or whether someone read you a boring story real fast. The movie zips past and I sat staring at the screen straight faced, hoping something interesting would spring up.

Conclusion:
Well.. I'm still waiting and the credits are almost done...

Rating:
3.2 / 10

Celebrity Nonsense

Angelina Jolie recently announced that Brad Pitt is yet to confess his love for her.. Apparently, they're afraid to speak about their feelings, lest they get too sentimental..
(That must have something to do with make-up issues)

Let me get this straight,
- You have a kid (daughter named Shiloh)
- You adopt three more (Maddox Chivan, Zahara Marley and Pax Thien)
And yet, those three magic words seem far, far away...

Things usually work the other way round, from where I come...

The Epic Disaster

All those who have been victims of Jason Friedberg's 89 minute "Epic Movie", will know exactly what I'm talking about. Four orphans are carelessly thrown into "not so funny" situations, with cheap goofy slapstick jokes.

The entire cast, besides Faune Chambers, has delivered the story with such painful lack of emotion, that it darn near breaks your heart. Jayma Mays has a blank lost look on her face throughout the film, which in no way, helps portray the stupidity of her character.

The entire movie reminds you of a badly put together school play, you would never want anyone to see. Characters from different hit films have been flung in and out, for no apparent reason.

A drunk Mel Gibson is a no show. I didn't even realize he was Mel Gibson until the 'bloopers' part, shown with the credits.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the Harry Potter film series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, X-Men: The Last Stand, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane, Talladega Nights, Casino Royale, The Da Vinci Code, Mission Impossible 3, Superman Returns, the Star Wars series, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Shrek, Click, and Borat have been smashed together into an ugly pumpkin pie, which is almost unbearable to digest.

The end is so abrupt, that you don't even have the time or the brain power to actually realize its over. Its like being hit by a nuclear bomb, one moment you're watching a bunch of confused chickens running all over my computer screen, and the next moment - they're gone...


The only part of the movie I loved was the tag line:
We Know It's Big. We Measured.