The Epic Disaster

All those who have been victims of Jason Friedberg's 89 minute "Epic Movie", will know exactly what I'm talking about. Four orphans are carelessly thrown into "not so funny" situations, with cheap goofy slapstick jokes.

The entire cast, besides Faune Chambers, has delivered the story with such painful lack of emotion, that it darn near breaks your heart. Jayma Mays has a blank lost look on her face throughout the film, which in no way, helps portray the stupidity of her character.

The entire movie reminds you of a badly put together school play, you would never want anyone to see. Characters from different hit films have been flung in and out, for no apparent reason.

A drunk Mel Gibson is a no show. I didn't even realize he was Mel Gibson until the 'bloopers' part, shown with the credits.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, the Harry Potter film series, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, X-Men: The Last Stand, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nacho Libre, Snakes on a Plane, Talladega Nights, Casino Royale, The Da Vinci Code, Mission Impossible 3, Superman Returns, the Star Wars series, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Shrek, Click, and Borat have been smashed together into an ugly pumpkin pie, which is almost unbearable to digest.

The end is so abrupt, that you don't even have the time or the brain power to actually realize its over. Its like being hit by a nuclear bomb, one moment you're watching a bunch of confused chickens running all over my computer screen, and the next moment - they're gone...


The only part of the movie I loved was the tag line:
We Know It's Big. We Measured.

Thank You for Smoking

Great movie concepts come up everyday, but only a few of these actually succeed.
What makes a great idea suceed? Putting it in the right hands, giving it to the right people. Can you imagine Amrish Puri doing Gabbar Singh, or anyone besides Tom Cruise doing Vincent in Collateral? These are the people that make the film, they make the character and the concept a box office hit.





One such masterpiece is "Thank you for smoking". This film released in 2006, directed by Jason Reitman, is based on a novel written by Christopher Buckley (I didn't know their names, but I suppose this is where Wikipedia is supposed to come in handy). The story revolves around a man by the name of Nick Naylor, who is the Vice President of the Academy of Tobacco Studies, but refers to himself as a lobbyist who defends big "helpless" corporation houses. Thanks to his gift of a "half dead conscience" and "flexible morals" he manages to twist every arguement in his favour.

But thats not my point. Nick Naylor isn't potrayed as a hero in the film. Infact, he is a bad guy to a certain extent. At one point in the film, his whole world comes crashing down on him, when a press reporter empties his whole bag of "well kept secrets" onto the newspaper. At that moment, I wanted to shut down my PC and go to sleep, because I'm sick of watching those 'moral of the story' type movies where the good always wins and the bad guy is seen begging or washing dishes in some filthy road side restaurant (as if that really happens in real life). But I kept watching it anyway, and believe me, I didn't regret it.

This man who is Vice President one day, ends up unemployed the next, but he still manages to get back to his feet and get going. The movie is not about tabacco, its not about right and wrong, its not about the bad winning in the end. The whole concept is about using your talent to the fullest even when you feel like you are trapped in a big bog of rotten egg yolks. If you ever have one hour and thirty two minutes to spare, you should definetly catch this one. Its not some boring corporate house nonsense that goes over 90% of the viewers heads. I can gurantee a big smile on your face at the end.

My favorite dialogue:
(Nick to his ex-wife's boyfriend) I'm his father, and you're the guy fucking his mom.

Cool stuff about the movie:
There isn't a single "smoking" scene throughout the entire movie.

The Reel

I'm not a movie person. As a matter of fact, I hate movies, especially the ones they churn out in dozens in Bollywood every week. Even though Hollywood is way ahead of us, I wouldn't praise them too much either. I mean, whom did Bollywood learn to dance around trees from?

Somewhere down the line, they all use the same ingredients and the same recipe for every story that goes on reel. I won't blame them, creativity in today's world is as much in danger, as the ozone layer. But I've been watching a few of these "wonderful creations" off late, and I think some of them definetely deserve to be written about.